it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
