That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Do vagina's smell?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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