So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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