at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
