you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
