found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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