My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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