Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He kissed a someone with a penis
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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