Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
