Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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