Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
