Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
