Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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