is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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