i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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