The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
