How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She's the barista slut.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
