That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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