yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
