Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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