This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
