when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
