I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
