The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize