they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
