I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
