I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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