I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
