you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
ttyl tear gas
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I want a musical about memes.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize