It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
