I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
