Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
