drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
birth control should be required to get into college
He felt like a one man threesome
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
