Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
