goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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