I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
