Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
