he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
