sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize