I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
