this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
