i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's never too late to be topless.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
