went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
