Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
