Christians are straight up FREAKS
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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