Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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