I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Boobs are out for the taking
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
