I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
