he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
