Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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