everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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