Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
