Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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