I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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