who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize