Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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