I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
